The Rock

Hi guys! Well, I've survived a week and a bit here. Today was my first actual day of classes at Regent, which was both exciting and overwhelming. I have a lot of reading ahead of me, and I need to have memorized the Hebrew alphabet by Thursday. But the profs are very engaging and entertaining, which makes me happy. Yesterday was called technical difficulties day at my house, as Danice and I struggled with the frustrations of installing a web-based phone. At one point, due entirely to my own ignorance, I managed to completely uninstall my wireless internet card. We provided many good laughs for my dad, Danice's brother, and the tech guy from the phone company, Rhett, who we got to know quite well. The phone is still not functional, sadly. Maybe tonight... I finally got my bus pass today, so maybe today will be better all around.

What I really want to share with you is a secret place I've made my own, which I affectionately call "The Rock". You get to it by exiting my house, crossing the street, walking across some grass and hopping the fence, very carefully climbing down the cliff (yes, for you avid readers of my blog, this is the infamous site of the split pants), and hanging a right when you hit the sand. I do this every morning.

I've met quite a few creatures since I became a regular at the Rock. Usually I just sit on the Rock and watch them, sometimes taking pictures or looking through my binoculars like the geek that I am. This distracts me greatly from my true purpose for being there, which is reading my Bible and praying. It is hazardous to pray with your eyes open here (for those of you who heard my "talk"). There's so much more going on that's new and interesting to me, and it can take a lot of time to actually be aware of it all. But I think it's worth it.

Let me introduce you to some of the creatures I've met. The guy who thinks he rules the place is Martin, the Great Blue Heron. I got pretty close to him this morning to take his picture, but unfortunately my memory card malfunctioned. He's there pretty much every morning. Then there's Matthew, Mark and Luke, the mallards. Phil the killdeer (that's a kind of wading bird) and Solomon the kingfisher (that's also a bird) come around every once in a while. Two highlights for me... seeing an actual seal or sea lion (I'm not sure which) swimming in the ocean right near the Rock. They swim slowly with their heads out of the water for a minute or so, like they're showing off, then disappear completely. Another highlight is actually experiencing the phenomenon of tides. It was low tide this morning, and I was looking at Martin with my binoculars, and suddenly I realized that he was surrounded by starfish! Maybe this doesn't excite you, but the only place I've seen real starfish outside an aquarium was when I dissected one. Don't worry, I didn't name them all. I haven't named the gulls either - there's too many.

So that's a little taste of the Rock. I'll probably talk more about it as I experience new things there. Soon to come - Top 5 differences between Saskatoon and Vancouver. I'm compiling a list in my head. :)

Not so dilly dally

Hello to all of my varied readers, old and new!

Today I nearly died. Several times. You see, I signed up for a rather innocent looking "Dilly Dally All-Day Hike", an optional activity for first-year Regent students during this first week of orientation. I imagined dillying and dallying around with a few other students, enjoying the fresh air and whatnot. I was a little off in that estimate.

We arrived at the foot of Dilly Dally peak. It was only upon reading the brochure at the bottom that we discovered that Dilly Dally is quite a serious misnomer. In fact, it may have been named sarcastically, or even as a cruel trick to dupe unsuspecting over-eager hikers. The brochure said, "for experienced and fit hikers only". We did no dillying or dallying. What we did was more like rock climbing. The incline was betwen 60-80 degrees the whole way, and it took us 4.5 hours to ascend 1150 m onto the peak. It's the hardest physical thing I've ever done. I can't believe the lactic acid build-up in my legs did not poison my entire body. There were some perks, like this waterfall, Swan Falls (many of you know of my waterfall obsession!) - sorry, you'll have to look at it sideways because I don't know how to flip it. But there was no view from the top. We hiked another three hours back down the same way. I have muscles in my legs I never knew I had until they all started hurting. Rachel and Sarah, I'm glad I didn't inherit your knees, because I would never have made it down. Anyway, the mountain has been re-named by us Regent students: "Dilly Dally Death March".

Haha. The hike was actually gorgeous, and I'm glad I went, because there was so much green, and so much tall. Green and tall. Here are some more pictures I took. We also stumbled upon the set of Smallville, the TV show, taping at the foot of the mountain - they're filming a stunt where Aquaman bursts out of the lake, with a crane pulling him of course. It was pretty cool to see, even though there were no famous actors around.

Well, I have more to say but I don't want to exhaust you. To be continued...

Near-nude experience

Have you ever heard of Wreck Beach? It's Vancouver's only nude beach.

No, I haven't been there. Yet. But I have a pretty good story about Jericho Beach. That's the beach that's right by my house.

This morning, I woke up and I wanted to do my devotions by the ocean for the first time. Last night whilst playing guitar on the beach, Danice and I found a great secret passageway from the park outside our house, over the fence and down to beach level. It's rather steep.

So this morning I went traipsing out with my Bible. There was a man sitting by the entrance to our passageway, which made me kind of self-conscious. But I nonchalantly hopped the fence and proceeded to make my way down this steep slope. Near the end, there's a large step down. I stepped, and I heard a loud ripping sound. It was my pants. I looked down, and the whole crotch area was in two parts. Here is a picture to demonstrate. Yes, mom, these are the ones you fixed. Sorry.

I don't think the guy saw me, but I couldn't go back up there with him watching. So I carried my sweater in such a way that it concealed my area of concern, and set out along the beach, laughing at myself.

The story is not over. I did my devotions, and somehow I got that Steven Curtis Chapman song "Dive" in my head. Now, those of you who have had experience with Steven Curtis Chapman know that his music can have dramatic effects on people. I was staring at the ocean with the lyrics running through my head, "I'm diving in, I'm going deep..." And suddenly, I stood up and took my watch and glasses off, and ran into the ocean with my clothes on.

It was salty and cold, and almost felt like skinny dipping because of the increase in water flow due to the aforementioned pants accident. After a few minutes, I got out and walked back along the beach, again using the sweater, dripping wet. All I can say is I'm glad the beach was very sparsely populated.

So I've had my Vancouver baptism. And I promise to share all of my embarassing experiences with all of you. One more reason to keep tuning in.

P.S. Want to hear the most ironic part? I was washing the ocean off my body in the shower when I realized I was using ocean-scented body wash!

I live in Vancouver now. I arrived yesterday. It's all a little weird.

What a beautiful place to live, though! It's really too good to be true. The trees are everywhere, and they're big. You know on Super Mario Bros. where you go into big world sometimes? Everything is double the size it's supposed to be! I think it's because it rains here. It rained today. It was ok, though. In Vancouver, you have to get used to the rain. Wanna see the view from a block away from my house? Here it is:

Yeah, that's the ocean. I had to taste it to believe it. I went down there with Danice and we played guitar for a while. Danice is my roommate. She's great. She's pretty much been taking care of me. It's weird to have to rely on people so much. I'd really be lost without her help. Literally. Roaming the streets of Vancouver. She took me on the sky-train today, and we bought groceries. The downside is that neither of us can cook. We're going to do a lot of experimenting. Tomorrow we'll go see Regent, and Jordan will come.

Generally, emotionally I'm doing well. It's weird to feel like a tourist but know you're going to have to become familiar with a place. It's weird to know you have some ownership over a piece of a beautiful city that really doesn't feel like it's yours. I miss my family, I miss Chris, I miss everyone else at church - so much . . . it almost feels like physical pain sometimes. I've been trying to distract myself with the excitement of a new place. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I think I will find friends here, but not replacements. Never replacements. If you had a role in my life before now, you cannot slack off. No slacking. It's still your job. I'm hoping you will leave jobs open in your lives for me, too. There will be no lay-offs. This is labor day.

I will keep posting. I miss you.

Blue Moon-Bow Express

Well, I'm getting better at saying goodbye. After I started crying while cutting garlic at Christine's house, I realized that grieving over leaving (haha, that rhymed) was sucking the joy out of my last moments here. So I decided that I'm not going to indulge my self-pity (or legitimate sadness) by crying until Saturday, when I leave. That way I'll have more good times I can look back on with joy. Like tonight - I drove to Pike Lake with Chris, just for kicks, and we saw like a hundred deer. And one rabbit. And one unidentified rainbow-like strip across the night sky that was NOT the Milky Way, that we named a Moon-bow.

So I'm leaving Saturday, at 2:45 PM, from the John G Diefenbaker airport. If you want to come see me cry, you are more than welcome. I will be sending an e-mail out to a lot of you to let you know what my new address will be. If you don't happen to be on my address list and you want my new address, e-mail me and let me know. My e-mail and blog site will remain the same.

In the last couple of days, I've made a few large purchases, and thanks to Evan and Scott who helped me in this. I bought my own acoustic guitar. He is blue, and since 12:30 tonight, he is called "Blue Moon-bow Express". He is travelling to Vancouver right now in Jordan's car. I got a very good deal on him. I also just bought a digital camera, so I will be able to post pictures here on my blog and in e-mails. Here is my first practice picture, of my family tonight.


Aren't they precious? Especially Rachel. Boy, I'm going to miss them. And a whole lot of other people...

Jesus wept.

Well, more people check my blog than I thought. I thought fewer people would check it (that one's for you, Chris). Plus, my best friend threw me an incredible surprise party at which I told everyone I'd be blogging often. So I will give you an update on my present state of mind.

The goodbyes have begun. Tonight was the bulk of them, since it was my last Sunday. I've been struggling with how to say goodbye. I am actually quite an emotional person, and I tend to want to suppress and run away from this side of me. My sister, who shares this condition, calls it "feeling things hard". When I struggle to contain my emotion, I wonder if this is right. I just read a story in Acts where Paul and his friends "weep aloud" when Paul goes. I mean, it was different from my departure, because he knew he would most likely never see them again. But Jesus and David were also very emotional people. I used to think crying was a lack of self-control, or indulging in self-pity, but I'm starting to think it isn't such a bad thing. In fact, I've probably mostly suppressed it out of fear and self-consciousness. But I think good friends need to know how much they mean to you, and crying shows your pain in leaving them.

But past the crying issues, I'm just trying to leave well. To keep on track with God so that I have the right perspective on leaving - a mixture of gratitude for the years and experiences I've had here, sadness for those I'll leave, and excitement for how He'll develop His plan in my life more fully. It's a weird balance of feelings. Most of the time I'm off balance, feeling one part more than another. I'll feel super sad in the morning, then super excited in the afternoon. I go from hating change to loving it in the space of a half hour. I don't want to miss out on the lives of the people I love here, but I don't want to miss out on the plan God's got for me there. I get confused a lot. But overall I think I'm doing better than when I left for Belgium four years ago.

Some details - I will be living in the West Point Grey/Kitsilano area, in West Vancouver near UBC. I'm near the corner of Point Grey and Alma, which, if you mapquest it, is very near to the ocean. In fact, I've been informed that it's halfway between a nude beach and a gay beach. So it could be very interesting. I'm living in a basement suite with three girls I've never met. But it's cheap (for Vancouver), close to UBC, it has wireless internet, it's furnished and the owners are so nice. I'm flying out of Saskatoon on Sat. Sept. 3rd at 2:45 PM, and my orientation starts on the 6th. It's a one year program, and I don't know where I'll go in life after that. I'm hoping God will let me in on a little more of His plan this year.

My plan for tomorrow: go with Evan to buy me a digital camera (so I can post pictures on here!), then pick up Scott to buy me an acoustic guitar (so I can bring one to Van), and sleep over at Chris'. A day of purchases and fun.

Talk to you soon!

Let's get it started in here

Hi to all three of you who keep checking my blog in vain even though I never ever update it.

I thought I'd get the juices of this sleepy blog flowing because I plan to make good use of it over the next year. I'd like it to be my main line of communication with all of you in Saskatoon, so I can tell you everything I'm doing in Vancouver and all of the deep spiritual truths I'm learning at Regent. There are also rumors of me buying a digital camera so I can post pictures of the beach I'll be living ONE BLOCK away from. I'm not trying to rub it in or anything.

So blog, this is your first kick in the pants. Wake up. You will be well-used. For your information, I'm leaving town on Sept. 3rd. So please say goodbye to me before then. I'll be back for a month around Christmas.

For now, I have to feed Batrick the big brown bat.
And go to bed. Tomorrow it will rain and I will try to entertain 13 eight-year olds for 7 hours.

Best wishes,

Beth

Etcetera

I'm writing on my new laptop that my dad built me. His name is Tosiba, and he's very fast. He even has his own cute little wireless mouse. The mouse is called Ken.

Sorry about the lack of blogging. I ran into a lot of schoolwork etcetera. Nobody ever writes out the word etcetera anymore but I think it's cool to do so. I'm not really sure if I have anything valuable to say, but I will write nonetheless. Nonetheless is also a good word. It's the only time you get to string three other normal words together and call them a word. I wish I could do that more often. Like, allthemore.

I am in limbo. I had a great trip to Calgary at the beginning of the month, and my best friend did all the driving and was merciful to me when I didn't deserve it. I saw dead dinosaurs, live mammals, live plants, and good aunts. That rhymes. For real. Say it. I write my last final as an undergraduate student on the 27th. I start working at the university as an Ecology Camp leader on May 2nd. I convocate May 25th. I leave for Regent at the end of August (yes, I was accepted!). Then, who knows what? Perhaps I'll meet Justin for a cheesecake and a walk in Stanley Park.

About an hour ago, Darrell hit the stop button and Scott Kurtz, Jordan, Scotty and I finished recording our last track on Scott's CD. It's been a lot of fun being in the studio and pretending to be a rock star. I was thinking about how I never joined sports teams, but playing in a band gives you some of the same experience. In fact I would argue it's better. You get to be creative, you have to figure out how your part fits into the whole, and you play to the best of your ability. And there are some excellent moments when you're building off of each other and everyone hits that crash in the same glorious split-second and it feels so good. A musical high. Thanks to Scott for letting me be a part of the whole thing.

What else have I been thinking about lately? Friends and how incredible they are. My mouth and how so often I don't think of the words that leave it. How much stuff I've accumulated that I probably don't need. What beauty is and how much it's worth. I've been thinking about what people long to be told, because I've heard some of these things and been amazingly satisfied by them. "You are irreplaceable. You are needed. I want you beside me. I love the time I spend with you. You bring something unique to my life. I love the things about you that are "you". I appreciate what you do for me. What would I do without you? You're a gift in my life. I love you." I hope to say these things more and mean them.

God is good. I feel so blessed right now. And so tired.

Cell girls, I missed you tonight.

Allthemore,
Beth

Testify to love

Sometimes all it takes to wake you up is a good funeral. Good funeral is not an oxymoron. Today I learned that even "joyful funeral" is not an oxymoron. Have you ever seen people wave flags and sing praise at a funeral? Neither had I, until today. I wonder what the people from the funeral home thought.

This incredible woman of God, Susan Bodnarchuk, battled cancer at four different times in her life. Obviously, for her, life was too short and uncertain to waste it on self-pity. She spent her life on God. She spent it on her friends and family. She spent every cent of it. She got a standing ovation at her funeral for it. The testimony and legacy she left, proclaimed at her funeral, strengthened the faith of every person packed into the sanctuary, and, I'm sure, inspired the birth of new faith in many who, for the first time, realized that God was the source of every good thing in her life.

One person said that Sue pictured being with God after she died, and hearing him ask her, "Sue, did you learn how to love?" That hit me. Beth, did you learn how to love? Of course, that's the most important question. Because that's the most important command - Love the Lord your God, love your neighbor. This is why I'm alive. I sat there feeling like a fool. I've wasted so much of my time on myself, wrapped up in how things make me feel, how they affect me, whether things are fair or unfair. Especially lately. It's not Sue's death that makes me want to live, it's her life. It's such a good reminder from me, straight from God, right in the busiest time of the semester when I could very easily become completely self-absorbed. Please, all of you, if you notice me doing this, let me know before I waste any more time.

Thank you, to all of you, for giving me the chance to learn how to love you, and to learn how to love God through loving you. Love means being vulnerable, love hurts - I will be thinking about this on Good Friday - but love is always worth the pain - I will be thinking about this on Easter Sunday. There is immeasurable joy ahead. Sue is experiencing it now. I hope my funeral will be like hers. I want to bring as much glory to God as she did. I want to finish well. Since I don't know where the finish line is in my life, I need to run hard all the time. Love hard all the time. There is so little time. There are so many people to love. There is one amazing God to love. I need to start right away, this very minute.

Read Eph. 5:1-2 again- I quoted it in my last blog entry. I almost typed it all out again for this one. It's still blowing me away.

Sharpies are poisonous and gum is gross

I apologize for the mood I might be in, which may or may not affect the humour of this blog entry, or lack thereof. It comes from paper-writing. Once again, I'm trying to write a paper, and I suddenly feel the urge to blog. Don't ask me why this happens during paper-writing. I guess I'm especially verbose, yet tired of writing in French. Maybe one day I'll write a blog in French when I'm not so tired of the language.

I thought I should update you on my progress, referring to my last blog, about thinking about God every minute. Well, I'm sure not up to "every minute", but I do think I've made some progress. I have much more frequent conversations with him. I've experimented with different ways of reminding myself to do this. Funny you should mention Sharpies, Evan, because lately I have been writing a small cross on my hand with a black Sharpie as a reminder to include God in everyday activities. When I see it, I remember to talk to him. I am sure if I continue this on a regular basis the Sharpie ink will leak into my veins and poison me. I considered tattooing my hand. This would probably be the only reason I would consider getting a tattoo - if it means making God a larger part of my life, without risk of poisoning, what could hold me back? So far, the only thing holding me back is the slight possibility I will become a secret undercover missionary to Muslim people or people otherwise hostile to Christians, in which case the tattoo could be even more risky than Sharpie poisoning. So it is a dilemma. I will continue to keep you updated.

Also, I gave up MSN for Lent. This was a big step for me, I thought, but I haven't actually missed it as much as I thought I would. The only thing I miss is being able to have open-ended conversations. It's hard to be on the phone and leave air space for 10 minutes when you have nothing to say. In general, though, I have fewer misunderstandings with friends. I don't feel like I need to be talking to them at all times. I sleep more. I am more productive with my homework. Except right now. Right now, I am not being productive. But I'm almost done, and I'll get back to productivity. Anyway, for anyone who feels addicted to MSN, like I was, I recommend going cold turkey for a while. It worked for me. Either that or get the patch or the gum. On second thought, don't get the gum. Gum is gross.

On that note, I leave you with a passage from the Message that I've been trying to memorize:

"Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behaviour from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us, but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that." (Eph. 5:1-2)

Love like that.

P.S. Speaking of love, cell group girls, don't forget your assignment to find a future husband. Due Monday. 10% off for each day you're late. 10% off your marital happiness, that is.