I knew this would happen - if I got a blog, I would inevitably leave it hanging for long periods of time without updating. It's not that I haven't been wanting to... something else just always came up. And now, I have to write a paper for my French class, due in two days, and it seems like a fitting time to blog. Here are some tidbits of things I've been thinking about lately. It's better than nothing. Maybe I'll grab some of these topics at a later date and develop them a little further. Probably not. Think of them as appetizers.
- My body is my kingdom. It's the tiny section of this world that God has given me rule over. And, of course, as a Christian, I've given the rule back to him. But he's made me a steward of this body. How I take care of it, physically, emotionally, spiritually, what I import and export, who I choose to make alliances and wars with - this is all a reflection of my stewardship. Kind of a cool metaphor.
- Here's a big one to throw out - a question that I feel I should know the answer to, but was suddenly unsure when asked by a girl in my Jr. High Bible study. As Kate asked it, "Can you un-become a Christian?" Or in other words, "Once saved, always saved?". Is it possible to become a Christian and then turn away from God to such an extent that your name will essentially be "erased" from the book of Life? I've had some interesting debates, but the question is still up in the air for me. Any thoughts?
- I wish I had more time. Time to really get to know people. Time to sit outside and watch snow melt. Time to write songs, or attempt to. Time to read the books I really want to read. Time to assimilate and reflect on everything I've been learning. Time to fast and pray without cutting out sleep. Time to call up random friends and just hang out. Time to sit on my bed and play guitar. My life right now is without margins. Even reading week is filling up. Crazy.
- Other things I've been learning: When I get tired and don't start my day with God, I fall back into sins I thought I had conquered. Duh. Also, prayer actually gets answered. Another duh. I feel like God has made a huge change in me in the way I love people, as a result of many prayers to him about it. It's so revolutionary that I couldn't have done it myself, yet so subtle that probably few will notice. But I notice. I feel so much more free to love, without being so attached to what I get back from the people I love, without self-pity, even without as much pride. It's really exhilirating. I'm almost scared to write it in case it suddenly changes back, scared to believe it's really true, that I really can become new. I'll keep you updated on this.
In other news, for those of you who are out of touch with my life (I'm probably out of touch with yours too!) - I'm in the process of applying to Regent College in Vancouver for a year of Bible grad school starting in September. Thought you should know :)
I have to go eat supper.