Monday, April 25, 2005


I'm writing on my new laptop that my dad built me. His name is Tosiba, and he's very fast. He even has his own cute little wireless mouse. The mouse is called Ken.

Sorry about the lack of blogging. I ran into a lot of schoolwork etcetera. Nobody ever writes out the word etcetera anymore but I think it's cool to do so. I'm not really sure if I have anything valuable to say, but I will write nonetheless. Nonetheless is also a good word. It's the only time you get to string three other normal words together and call them a word. I wish I could do that more often. Like, allthemore.

I am in limbo. I had a great trip to Calgary at the beginning of the month, and my best friend did all the driving and was merciful to me when I didn't deserve it. I saw dead dinosaurs, live mammals, live plants, and good aunts. That rhymes. For real. Say it. I write my last final as an undergraduate student on the 27th. I start working at the university as an Ecology Camp leader on May 2nd. I convocate May 25th. I leave for Regent at the end of August (yes, I was accepted!). Then, who knows what? Perhaps I'll meet Justin for a cheesecake and a walk in Stanley Park.

About an hour ago, Darrell hit the stop button and Scott Kurtz, Jordan, Scotty and I finished recording our last track on Scott's CD. It's been a lot of fun being in the studio and pretending to be a rock star. I was thinking about how I never joined sports teams, but playing in a band gives you some of the same experience. In fact I would argue it's better. You get to be creative, you have to figure out how your part fits into the whole, and you play to the best of your ability. And there are some excellent moments when you're building off of each other and everyone hits that crash in the same glorious split-second and it feels so good. A musical high. Thanks to Scott for letting me be a part of the whole thing.

What else have I been thinking about lately? Friends and how incredible they are. My mouth and how so often I don't think of the words that leave it. How much stuff I've accumulated that I probably don't need. What beauty is and how much it's worth. I've been thinking about what people long to be told, because I've heard some of these things and been amazingly satisfied by them. "You are irreplaceable. You are needed. I want you beside me. I love the time I spend with you. You bring something unique to my life. I love the things about you that are "you". I appreciate what you do for me. What would I do without you? You're a gift in my life. I love you." I hope to say these things more and mean them.

God is good. I feel so blessed right now. And so tired.

Cell girls, I missed you tonight.



Smaj said...

You are an amazing person. And I loved reading this post.
I'm so happy that you are as hopeful and peaceful about today, and about the future, as you are.
Congratulations on graduating! I hope that you learned something along the way. =)
Next year, though you will be missed, I will pray that you find everything you are looking for - so be sure to look for things worth finding ;) Justin is a great guy, we go way back. I recommend the blueberry cheesecake before walks in the park.
Your job will be satisfying and exciting with the ecology camp, and you'll shine! I hope that you find it fulfilling, and that your first "real job" experience is a success.
I also hope that we have a chance to hang out this summer.
I'm stoked to hear your album! You are talented as a piano player, and your patience during this recording experience will pay off, I'm sure. I look forward to hearing the combinations of your creative efforts with the rest of the band.
You are irreplaceable, Beth!

katevp-a said...

beth i looked it up in the dictionary. the dictionary said to me et cetera. it was two words. i was sad to see it


Beth said...


Thank you! I stand corrected. I guess I got so caught up in words that you can squish together into one word, like nonetheless, that I tried to make et cetera like that too. I am just as sad as you.


Smaj said...

Well yeah, because "et" means "and" "certera" means "so on"...
Yay Latin!


I am just as sad as you two.

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