Sunday, November 20, 2005

like the dickens

Someone who is very important to me reminded me tonight that I need to make people feel very important to me. Especially if they really are. That person will be loved profusely, now that I know how. But there is another person I could love much better. I don't quite know how, but this is the most recent way she's chosen to love me, so I will share what's been bubbling up inside me.

I miss hearing her singing downstairs, even when she went over one part a million times. She doesn't know how I used to sometimes sit quietly on the stairs to hear better.
I miss stealing her clothes and having her tell me they looked good on me.
I miss limp celery wars, and spaghetti flinging, and her making fun of my wieners and beans.
I miss her fried rice. I miss her chagels.
I miss laughing right out loud at the table with her.
I miss just looking at ther and her knowing.
I miss her Coach Z impressions.
I miss asking her to do the "sue" impression.
I miss her calling me "boots" even though it made no sense.
I miss her turning 1-syllable words into 2 syllables. ga-ross.
I miss her abbreviations. what's the sitch?
I miss her friends. I miss being proud of what a good friend she was to them.
I miss her feeling too hard.
I miss her tears on my shirt.
I miss being a good sister.
I miss singing Christmas songs with her. old favorites. Michael W. Smith.
I miss her stealing the guitar all the time. And the car.
I miss watching her worship.
I miss seeing her love our girls, and know what to say to them.
I miss reading her French papers.
I miss bragging about her to people who knew what I was talking about.
I miss all of things no one else finds funny.
I miss her old self, too, her twitchy nose and her big floppy hat.
I miss watching her play soccer and kick it so hard and hearing her encourage.
I miss her more-mature-than-me-sometimes perspective. I still need it.
I miss her hugs.
I miss her 273 times (or whatever that number was).
I miss her like a racehorse.
I miss her like the dickens.
I'll miss her hard for 26 more days.

love you.
don't take november too hard.
it will not be always winter and never Christmas.


katevp said...

you malenas are a beautiful family. i love you, and i miss you all for different reasons. how glad i am to get to know you at different times. beth, you are actually my longest friend now. we have been friends for 9 years and 7 months! i don't think i have any other friends that i've known for so long. i guess we just moved too much, anyhow you malenas are very dear to me and i love you a lot, i send you much love beth.

love kate

Rachel Malena said...

286, haha (crying, laughing). it was 286

Smaj said...


Bigshot Hollywood Producer Type said...

AND she almost single-handedly turned our forthcoming Christmas Spectacular into the smash hit it is destined to become!