Saturday, November 14, 2009

Freedom


A quote from Jean Vanier that describes where I'm at right now:

"There is a freedom that I sense exists but that I do not have.
I cannot always describe it but I do want it.
I sense I still have a long road to walk in order to reach this freedom.
I see the goal but I am not yet there.
I love and want it but sometimes I am frightened of the road I must take.

I am frightened of the disappearance of my walls of defense,
sensing that behind them there is an anguish and a vulnerability that will rise up.
I see that I still cling to what people think of me
and am fed by the way people love, want, and admire me.
If all that fell away, who would I be?
But that is where freedom lies, the freedom to be rejected,
if that is the path I am to take in order to live more fully.
Is that not the freedom that Jesus announces in his charter of the Beatitudes,
when he talks of the blessedness of those who are persecuted,
or when he says, "Woe to you when people speak well of you"?

(Becoming Human)

6 comments:

amy.s.crawford said...

love, you Beth-y.

Anonymous said...

I stumbled on your blog. I want you to know you are not alone on the journey. It is my path as well. We just aren't walking it together. How awesome is our God.

Sarah said...

Hi Beth,

I had a thought to come visit your blog and am I ever so glad I listened to that calling!

I sense in my own journey the Lord showing me that there is more.

The cross calls me to stand up right and to view others from the place of the cross.

I heard it said that for women the last stronghold to overcome is control for the very reason it calls us to vulnerability.

Healing does not come unless we allow ourselves to become vulnerable and to allow for people to reject us.

I know one thing ... when you have walked away from everything that soothes you like a baby and a pacifier ... we cease to remain as babes.

The rewards of being able to live a life free from what people think our source of life in Christ then is strengthened and our true identity in Christ becomes more fully realized.

A lot of talk .. this is what I tell myself and I'm comforted by these words a great deal. I'm strangely appreciative of having faced rejection and the criticisms of others.

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Sarah said...

I read through this blog post again and I guess I'm in a different head space right now but a thought came to mind when I read through this blog post for the second time.

Freedom is perhaps learning to exists within the tension between certainty and uncertainty, to know and be known within the turbulent waters of life, to live with questions ... and knowing that our God understands the brokenness of our humaninty and all the while being OK with that.