Wednesday, February 02, 2005


Hey guys.

I knew this would happen - if I got a blog, I would inevitably leave it hanging for long periods of time without updating. It's not that I haven't been wanting to... something else just always came up. And now, I have to write a paper for my French class, due in two days, and it seems like a fitting time to blog. Here are some tidbits of things I've been thinking about lately. It's better than nothing. Maybe I'll grab some of these topics at a later date and develop them a little further. Probably not. Think of them as appetizers.

- My body is my kingdom. It's the tiny section of this world that God has given me rule over. And, of course, as a Christian, I've given the rule back to him. But he's made me a steward of this body. How I take care of it, physically, emotionally, spiritually, what I import and export, who I choose to make alliances and wars with - this is all a reflection of my stewardship. Kind of a cool metaphor.

- Here's a big one to throw out - a question that I feel I should know the answer to, but was suddenly unsure when asked by a girl in my Jr. High Bible study. As Kate asked it, "Can you un-become a Christian?" Or in other words, "Once saved, always saved?". Is it possible to become a Christian and then turn away from God to such an extent that your name will essentially be "erased" from the book of Life? I've had some interesting debates, but the question is still up in the air for me. Any thoughts?

- I wish I had more time. Time to really get to know people. Time to sit outside and watch snow melt. Time to write songs, or attempt to. Time to read the books I really want to read. Time to assimilate and reflect on everything I've been learning. Time to fast and pray without cutting out sleep. Time to call up random friends and just hang out. Time to sit on my bed and play guitar. My life right now is without margins. Even reading week is filling up. Crazy.

- Other things I've been learning: When I get tired and don't start my day with God, I fall back into sins I thought I had conquered. Duh. Also, prayer actually gets answered. Another duh. I feel like God has made a huge change in me in the way I love people, as a result of many prayers to him about it. It's so revolutionary that I couldn't have done it myself, yet so subtle that probably few will notice. But I notice. I feel so much more free to love, without being so attached to what I get back from the people I love, without self-pity, even without as much pride. It's really exhilirating. I'm almost scared to write it in case it suddenly changes back, scared to believe it's really true, that I really can become new. I'll keep you updated on this.

In other news, for those of you who are out of touch with my life (I'm probably out of touch with yours too!) - I'm in the process of applying to Regent College in Vancouver for a year of Bible grad school starting in September. Thought you should know :)

I have to go eat supper.

Peace out.


Anonymous said...

Who's gunna lead the jr. high bible study group if you go?

katevp-a said...

beth.. i just love you so much!
remember when way back in the day at clbc you taught me how to play 'wind of the spirit' on my guitar. i just remembered that today.

about the once saved always saved thing... it's tricky, isn't it? i think perhaps that is one of those things we shall never really know the answer to. and probably that is ok.

i'm gonna think about this and get back to you


Lisa said...

Beth! I'm moving to Vancouver! Crazy! We definately have to hook up if things work out for you there!

Anonymous said...

life is so unsettling! i love this year, and it seems like everyone's moving away. i will so sad to see you go. you already know how much i'll miss you. like the dickens. but next year is next year, i'll stop worrying about it. for now.

Anonymous said...

Because of God's grace,He knows and is not swayed by the world,or what it is doing to you.To un-become a child of God would require substantial effort-He's NOT about to leave you,or let your soul leave Him.Regardless of what YOU DO. COOL!!! Some pentacostal(the Armenian background)believe you lose your salvation many times a day,so you always are on tiptoes,no room for a bad day...the Babtists and others believe salvation is by GRACE not WORKS>although some believe in a "predestination" theory(just as messed up!!!) SO-you believe Jesus,give your life to Him,let Him grant you Grace,KNOW you please Him just by being you...problems,worts,nose jobs,bad language,poor attitude,Huge smile-the works,whoever you be!!COOL...if you have not enough faith to go on,ASK HIM FOR MORE!! Or you can leave..Choices Choices- This message brought to you by and yes,if I sound like Evan Cole-I sort of am

Anonymous said...

who's gonna teach me guitar and piano if you go to vancouver??????

Anna from church

Evan said...

dad, thanks for your insight.

i think i have come to a decision on how i feel about turning your back on God. this is open for change, but here goes:

to be a Chrsitian means that you are in an ongoing relationship with Jesus Christ. part of the relationship is repentance, telling Him that you should do wthings His way. another part is worship. to worship is to tell God he's bigger, better, more etc. than you. these are two key examples of what a relationship with God entails. i would argue that for this relationship, that the repentance is somewhat more imporant. anyway, when you turn from God, you lack the repentance. forgiveness is yours, all you need to do is ask for it. by turning your back on God you no longer want forgiveness, thus you have sin. since you have sin, you will be held accountable for it. this is different from if you die and have sin, but have a repentant heart (in which case you will be forgiven).

i think that by turning from God you will be held to an even stronger standard than those who didn't believe in the first place. we are told that we are responsible for the knowledge we have. people who were Christians had the truth. they had that knowledge, and unfortunately, they might be judged harsher by turning their back on their creator.

its unbecoming of our religion to think that by turning your back on God means you won't get into heaven, even if you were once a believer. the truth is that we are responsible for our own choices and a choice to turn ones back on God means you erase your own name from the book of life. God loves us all regardless and i think there is a spot in that book for all of our names. but he's given us the pencil with an eraser on one end and the choice is ours.

i asked God for a sharpie :)

Fenlore said...

Another Cole must now post.

Yes you can become unchristian, it's as simple as telling god you reject him and no longer want him in your life. I don't know why one would want to do that but some do. That's not to be mistaken with people who have forgotten they are christian and just go on life as everyone else does.

Good luck with the college thing.