Friday, December 16, 2005

The 10 lists of Christmas


Thank you for all of your prayers and e-mails. I really don’t know if I could have gotten through this past week so well without them. My parents are still in Kentucky with my grandma, they will be home soon after me. I’m mostly sad I didn’t know my grandpa better, since he lived so far away, and sad for my mom and my grandma, who are the most sad. It was a hard thing to have in the back and the front of my mind during finals. I got through all four of them, though, yesterday and today, and I even learned a thing or two, thanks to some crucial words of wisdom from Christine. If ever you need some perspective on your silly perfectionism, she’s your man. Girl. Sorry. I’m rather giddy with excitement of being done and going home and Christmas. I have run the gauntlet. It’s time to relax.

In one day and two nights, I will be home. I thought, for those of you in icy Saskatoon, I would give you a run-down of some things that might be different about me, that may have changed since I left, just so you’re forewarned. Man, do I ever like lists. What does that say about me? Does anyone know? I always make to-do lists, and sometimes I add things I’ve already accomplished just so I have the satisfaction of crossing them off. Is this psychotic? Does anyone else do this?

Without any further ado...

1. My hair looks like a mop on my head. I have not cut it in a very long while. In fact, not since I left. I didn’t want to pay for it. I didn’t want to go about the risky business of trying out a new hairdresser. I didn’t want to get my roommates to cut it with our kitchen scissors. Mostly, I was lazy. I plan to have this dealt with asap, in Saskatoon. Dawn, come back from London!

2. I have grown unaccustomed to eating at a table. Danice and I usually eat on the couch, or on the floor. Or standing up. Or we dance around the table. I have also become more accustomed to spicy, Danice-y food. Although I still sweat when I eat her curry and am forced to strip off layers of clothing.

3. I have grown very blasé when it comes to mice. Mice are a fact of life, I’ve decided. They chew through packing tape when you try to cover the hole in the wall. They set off two traps in the night, eat the bait and walk off unscathed. They give you the willies. But they’re really ok. I can deal with them for two more nights. Then I’m outta here, and the exterminator will pay us a friendly neighborhood visit.

4. I got seven piercings and a rather conspicuous tattoo. Ha. Just checking to see if you guys are still with me. No, really, I did. Yeah, they're pretty sweet. Actually, I didn’t. Just kidding. Or am I? No, I’m seriously joking. Although… never mind.

5. Fiiiive golden rings! Sorry, a little Christmas spirit slipping through.

6. I’m a drinker. I drank a whole beer one night. Just to say I did it. It was a Corona. It was a waste of a Corona. Man, beer is so gross. I really hate the taste of it. It makes me want to throw things in disgust. No matter what Danice may try to tell you about my secret beer love.

7. My brain is stuffed with random bits of 1500 years of Christian history, 2000 years of spirituality, Hebrew vocabulary and possible dates and authors of all books of the Old Testament, which I fear will slowly leak out my ears as I sit around at home. I tried stuffing my ears with cotton to prevent information seepage, but it got all caught up in several of my larger piercings. You know, the big wooden pegs they stick through your ears – that’s what I have. For real. Not even joking. Uh huh.

8. I let fancy Regent words slip out in everyday conversation sometimes. Such as: ethos, community, postmodern, contemplative, eschatological, hermeneutical, orthodox, theolog-errific, and God. And “fodder”.

9. I have become a Saskatoon and general Prairie defender. I uphold the cause of the flatlands. I make known to the general public the value of living in such a desolate place. I stand strong and firm with my fellow Saskatchewanians here at Regent. May the combines roll on, let the temperature plummet, and bring on the sky.

10. On a more serious note, I love God more. I was hoping that would happen. I love my Bible like the dickens. I love you all so much more than I ever have. Christine, Rachel, Daniel, Sarah, Mom, Dad, Jordan, Don, Jayson, Alexa, Rochelle, Robin, Sherri, Evan, Anna, Carie, Scott, Daniel, Cory, all the cell group girls, Rosemary, Denise, Christine’s mom, and anyone else in Saskatoon who is reading this – I can’t wait to talk to you. The prospect of seeing some of you the day after tomorrow makes me want to cry.

And to those of you who are reading this from Vancouver – I’ll miss you! See you in a month. Keep checking – I’ll try to update the blog once in a while with Saskatoon pictures whilst at home. Merry Christmas!


Smaj said...

I haven't cut my hair since before you left, either.

Dad and I tried to eat at the table when I first moved here. It lasted all of a week.
Except for when we have company, we eat in the living room.

I can't wait to meet your new seven piercinged, tattooed, beer-in-hand attitude.
Actually, I quite liked your assessment of beer. I can actually picture you saying it. You're a funny young lady, Beth.
I guess that your lack of beer liking can be made up for by your love for other gross things, like mucus... you weirdo...

Speaking of mucus, I can't wait to see the knowledge dribbling all out of your ears.
I'm sure you'll have millions of fascinating things for most to ignore or refuse to understand.
I will pretend to understand... even when I can't.

I would only describe a few of those words as "Regent words". Community and Post Modern are buzz words; contemplative means thoughtful, but around a meditative, sprititual or "deeper" focussed centre; theolog-eriffic isn't even a word! And fodder has been the word of the day for at least ten straight years.
Good try though. =)
At least you can identify the three synoptic gospels!

The praries are a lot like the ocean - you can see forever. Glad to hear you're a defender.

I love you, too. I can't wait to catch up with you, even if we only get a couple goes at it.

Thanks for the big ol' lists Beth. Hermeneutically, it helps to define your eschatological characteristics. You are concrete sequential, and you prefer chocolate to beer.
I wasn't aware, however, that the dickens was all that fond of your Bible... that was news.
Can't wait to see you.


defend: pldcm

Anonymous said...

beth you can add "random power outages" to your list of joys of the prairies. the power was out (just in our neighbourhood) for 3 hours this morning! bah! it was so dark and flippin cold in the house. I CANNOT WAIT FOR YOU TO COME HOME AHHHH.

katevp-a said...

don't you love people outside of saskatoon, say maybe in ottawa?


caricature said...

i did a personality test this summer, and i was a "YELLOW". Among the characteristics that i and the other yellows discovered that we have in common is list-making (with the express purpose of crossing out... even things you've already done!), and so many other geeky organizational things! you should take the test and see what colour you actually end up being!

see you soon!

katevp-a said...

i forgot to say that i also put things done on my to do list, i love crossing them off!..

usually it seems more like writing down a list that was in my mind so it seems ok to srite down things done.

Myriam said...

I refer to these kind of people as LDP's (List Driven People) and I am definitely near the top of that list!! haha. I have to restrain myself from making a list just to clean my room! Beth - Hope I can see you at Christmas, that would be grand!

Anonymous said...

Glad to see someone is defending the prairies. It's kind of like Peter, Tony, and I defending Wisconsin...except our foundational arguments revolve around things like cheese and brats and such. Oh, and let us not forget cranberries...

either way, these modes of argument never seem to convince anyone of the greatness of the Dairyland State.